Jay-Zs 99 Problems: #6

Hey, folks. Last week I forgot to write about Jay-Zs problems. So this weeks got two of'em. Simple as that.

#6: My dog gets an erection everytime I touch him

"You fucking pervert" - that were my first words I said to that little fucker after he kept ramming my leg for half an hour. Holy fuck, this dog's crazy! But that was only the tip of the iceberg.

me and my dog on halloween

Ever since he came in our house he was really awkward. Like Norman-Bates-awkward. Barking at invisible people. Staring at me, middle in the night, paranormal-activity-style. And so on. But, the most strange thing was - he loved rubbing his dick on EVERYTHING. Doors, cars, tires, mostly everything that was bigger than him. Maybe he has a big-booty-fetish, I don't know. Well, we had to finish this. We didn't want him to mate, produce more homeless puppies with homeless bitches, to rub his dick everywhere - so we found the final solution. We just said "Sorry buddy but your balls have to come off" aaaaaand they we're gone. Just like that.

Since that were no more of problems. But he got even stranger. Everytime I pet him, he gets a huge boner and stares at me while probably thinking "fuck you. if i had some balls i would penetrate the shit out of you, Jay-Z. Uh uh. Fuck you, for taking my balls off....but please please please pet some more...some more...oh yeah....oh yeah...that's it....mmmhhhh. fuck I got a boner". Honestly, he is still fucking scary.